A mother's ADHD Diagnosis
3 weeks into the new year and already, so many reflections.
If I’m honest, both 2021 and 2022 were not my best years when it comes to self-care. If I’m being completely true to myself, I found I was doing everything at 50%. I was trying my best at work, yet not getting everything done. I was hoping to be all my boys needed, yet always felt they needed and required more than what I was physically, mentally, and emotionally able to give.
As for being a good friend, sister, daughter, wife, and all-round happy person, I don’t think I was that either. I know we all put a lot of pressure on ourselves, but I know I wasn’t meeting and reaching my full potential with what I could offer to the people closest to me. I needed to move to a place where my boys had me at my absolute best. I am wanting that in 2023. I am determined to seek, plan, and work hard to achieve what I need, to be the best version of myself. To live the life that best serves me.
In Nov of 2022, I received my ADHD and Autism Diagnosis. Was I surprised? No.
Have I found it helpful and validating? Absolutely.
There is a lot to learn and unpack, but I’m finding so many things are finally making sense. It explains why I do the things I do, and how I thrive in some areas and struggle in others.
The truth is, I’ve been on this neurodiverse journey with Will for the last 7 ½ years now. I feel comfortable and part of this amazing community. It wasn’t me looking into the way Will’s brain works, that made me seek a diagnosis for myself…. it was more, my life had never been so busy, my responsibilities had taken on a new level, and I knew that I wasn’t myself. Along with that, I could see my executive functioning and inattentiveness becoming more apparent. I just wasn’t my true self. So many things I had done my whole life fitted the ADHD mould, but until it started affecting my day-to-day life, I never seemed to think anything of it. Until now.
Am I right in assuming you’re thinking there are so many women receiving their ADHD diagnosis?? Well, to that I say, yes and thanks. Thank you to the people who I have followed, befriended, and chatted to, that have helped bring awareness to it. It’s prompted me to do this for me. No-one else.
Thank you to the people who are now talking about it to help others see that an ADHD diagnosis is no longer the 10-year-old boy who has been pigeonholed as the “naughty kid”. Thank you for bringing more light to a disability that can be really, really hard to manage at times.
I am unpacking it all and learning so much, and if this has helped others see that it’s ok to share and encourage others to do what’s best for them, then I am happy with that.
I’ve tried my hardest to be the best role model for my boys. I’ve learnt so much about Autism and how to bring out the absolute best in Will. To always remind him to keep going, to know that everything is going to be ok, and of course to always be happy.
I never claim to be an expert, but I can be the expert in my son, and knowing that I am his biggest supporter in a world that doesn’t always accommodate his needs, is hard to navigate at times.
I now need to truly understand who I AM. To be my own expert. To know what works for me, to know when I need to pull back, and to surround myself with people who encourage and motivate me to keep going.
I feel incredibly lucky to have met so many amazing people since we started this journey. All who have helped shape us as a family, and how we live our life.
So, here’s to learning more about myself, accepting when things need to change and always being true to myself. Xox
Julia Ryan
Founder - William Ready